Culture, Curry and Champagne

Well, I've been a cultural glutton the past week- went to see "You, Me and Everyone We Know" at the Curzon Soho, saw "Tom, Dick and Harry" and "The Producers" in London's fashionable West End, and then went up to Manchester to take part in the Big Gay Read at the Central Library. I was asked to choose my favourite book with queer appeal and talk about why I love it so much, then read a passage to the audience. The room was packed on a wet and blustery Friday afternoon, and I told the gathered about the virtues of Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson's debut and semi-autobiographical novel. Jeanette is a redhead from Accrington, and I feel a particular connection to her and her books because I fell in love with a redhead from Accrington (usually referred to here as The Strawberry Blonde). I hasten to add I DID NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JEANETTE WINTERSON (though her ex girlfriend, the writer Peggy Reynolds, is HOT STUFF and another redhead to boot)
OK I have just read that back and it makes me sound like a ginger-chaser. Hmmmmm......

My verdict on the film/shows? You, Me...etc. is quirky and touching and very self-conscious, but I would expect that from Miranda July, the writer/director/star. Our paths crossed many years ago when she and I were performing and hanging around the ICA. She is striking and intense and clever. It's nice to see people emerge from the fringes into the mainstream, and with such success. I know that's a really American outlook. Sorry. Oh....actually, I'm not.

Tom, Dick and Harry is a classic British farce- if you like Fawlty Towers, this will make you laugh....really hard. The Strawberry Blonde was doubled over in hysterics. I chuckled and cringed. I saw the Producers for the second time- and though the cast the first time around was much better- Brad (?) and Lee Evans in the top roles- I actually enjoyed it more the second time around. Leigh Zimmerman is gorgeous, James Dreyfus is SOOOOOOO GAYYYYY (does he ever get tired of flapping, I wonder?)

Last night I had the most wonderful evening with my friend, the incredibly gifted artist Martin Firrell (www.martinfirrell.com) He treated me to champagne and crisps in his uber-pad in Soho, and then on to the Red Fort, possibly the poshest Indian I have ever had. We spoke of Mama Cass, choral evensong, public art in Trafalgar Square, radical architecture in Bangladesh, and the Baroness Gerda Von Posch. A bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and dessert wine was followed by a champagne nightcap at the Soho Hotel. Perfect.

Going to the gym this afternoon to counterbalance my curry and champagne consumption. There's a "Fit at Fifty" class - I am WELL UNDER 50 YEARS OLD- but the guy who runs the class is kind of like a British Richard Simmons. For non-Americans reading this, you may ask "Who is Richard Simmons?" You MUST look here:http://www.richardsimmons.com/ I guarantee you will NOT be disappointed by looking at this link and it may change your life forever!

Round-Up of the Week

Had the proverbial mother-in-law here most of the week, which was a pleasure in many respects, not least because she is a whizz at the summer sales and came home after an afternoon shopping with loads of goodies for me & her daughter the Strawberry Blonde. Had dinner at the Mango Tree (posh Thai) and cocktails and dim sum the followning night at Shanghai Blues (posh Chinese). Must say the first was a special deal I found on the best website- www.toptable.co.uk, which has discount offers for eating out at some of London's top restaurants. I am dedicated to leading a lifestyle which my bank manager does not approve of, and toptable is a great way of achieving it! The visit to Shanghai Blues was courtesy of my friend Kirk, who runs a PR company for restaurants, bars and foodie events. Very thankfully I am on his permanent guest list, which means a hell of a lot of schmoozing and too many cocktails with funny umbrellas hanging out of them. Oh, the life!
Now I am not in "full-time" employment (ie not doing the BBC London breakfast show anymore) I find it all too easy to fill my days with dreaming, sunbathing in St. James's Park, looking after my girlfriend, having lunch with friends, strolling around Pimlico.....I did manage to do some work this week- another voiceover for Continental Airlines.
Next week is looking pretty busy, though- filming all day on Monday for London TV, theatre twice, dinner with friends, a hair appointment, and trip to Manchester for Big Gay Read...and fingers crossed, a side trip to see Burnley play Derby County at Turf Moor on Saturday.

Recovering from the weekend....still.....

OK, it's Monday afternoon and I still feel a bit woozy from a decadent Friday night. Went to Brighton with the Strawberry Blonde and fully intended to come home on the last train back to London. Well, 4 cocktails and a bottle of white wine (that was just ME) at 10pm I endeavoured to find a b&b. Found a room above a dodgy gay bar, got the keys, and went back to drinking, dancing and snogging. Stumbled into the room at 3am after eating fish & chips on the seafront and buying a toothbrush at an all night shop. Imagine my paralytic surprise when there was someone in the bed! Like, not a "bonus", if you know what I mean, but an actual imposter! A few phone calls later and the flapping queen in charge turned up to put us in another room, but we were really freaked. Turned out the owner had let a friend stay and she just slept in the only room she found unlocked. Ours. Needless to say, the next morning we got a refund, then bunged on the train back with our invalid day return tickets. Turned out to be a pretty cheap excursion, but I have been paying for it in brain cells.

Spent all day yesterday filming for London TV, the channel for VisitLondon, aka London Tourist Board. I co-present a programme called Ask Us, where we get imaginary people to call up/email/write in with their burning questions about going out in London. Badminton for beginners in Bermondsey? Toddlers tiddly winks in Tottenham? Weekend watercolour challenge for the workshy in Walthamstow? I know ALL the answers......

Went round to our neighbours' house for dinner last night-after the main course the male half of the couple wandered into the dining room mixing a small bowl of cocoa and 20 mins later re appeared with the largest chocolate soufflé I have ever seen! His wife insists he has a female brain, as proven by a test he took at the Science Museum.

Just got a call from my agent confirming a last minute booking for later today- doing two panel shows from the 1950's that are being revived for TV of today- What's My Line? and The Name's The Same. Fellow panellists are Brian Sewell, Amanda Platell, and Dave Gorman. A bit nervous- called Danny Baker for a pep talk, but he's not in.

Back from La Belle France

OK, I know you missed me (ahhhhh!) Three weeks in the remote Pyrenees and I am super-chilled. I actually got culture shock when I came back to London....got off the coach from Stanstead at Victoria Station and a zillion people speaking English were swarming everywhere. I had been chatting to the same 5 people and 3 dogs- in French- for so long I forgot metropolitan life was so intense.

Anyway, was promptly invited to play rounders in Kennington Park, which is a sort of gay version of baseball. It's the first time I played rounders- yes, there are still some secrets to British culture that have remained beyond my grasp- until now. Still can't work out how the scoring works, and I have no idea who won. Not that it matters- "It's all about taking part" as they say. But I was still praying I wasn't the last one picked!

Went to see Black Narcissus at the NFT on Friday. If you haven't seen it, do so ASAP! It's got everything- repressed religious types, slutty natives, donkeys, wobbly special effects and one really mad glamour-bitch nun from hell. Do you ever go to the cinema and find you are the only one laughing at a particular line? There were a few of those in Black Narcissus, including this from the pupil Prince, who unfurls a silk scarf sprayed with Black Narcissus, a fragrance specially brought back to his native India from the Army & Navy department store in London- much to the dismay of the nun teaching him.....

"Sister, don't you think it so very common for us to smell of ourselves?"